Sample Professional Resume for an Exporter - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Christina,
Because your work history and accomplishments were so impressive,
I chose an "executive-style" format for your resume. This format
is elegant, uncluttered, and delivers your data with maximum impact.
Keeping the resume to one-page, an industry standard, I highlighted
your name by putting it in a larger, bolded font. This sets it
apart from the rest of the type.
Your contact information (phone # and email) is in a slightly
larger type than your address as hiring managers usually contact
you by phone or email. Because you had four X's at the end of your
fax number, I assumed it was the same as your work phone, which
is why it's presented in that manner.
I began the body of your resume with a Qualifications section,
emphasizing those points you requested - i.e. your product marketing
and sales strategy. I also emphasized the awards you had won, your
bilingual capabilities, the fact that you work in high grade nickel-plated
steel, laminated steel, and in tin mill products.
You also indicated that you're good at communicating with people
- I said that you were articulate. You said you were bold; I rewrote
that to say you were innovative. You stated that the steel industry
is conservative, yet you've made money in it. I stated that by
saying, "…increasing profits in an otherwise conservative
industry."
I thought your "traditional" and "spontaneous" activities were
important enough to include in this opening paragraph. They will
certainly be the first skills a hiring manager sees. I also included
the systems administration you did for the English government as
I feel this will add that extra "something" to your qualifications.
In the next section, I chose to highlight your Career Accomplishments
at the Robbinsmill Corporation as you had. It was a wise choice
on your part. And, I feel, the only choice on a resume writer's
part - you simply have so many accomplishments that all of them
deserve to be emphasized.
To begin each bullet, I used the strongest action verbs possible
while also condensing and rewriting your text for maximum effect.
For example, you wrote:
"Contracted Ho Jung's "Technical Assistance" (TA) to Millerton
Steel (USA). Facilitated the actual TA execution. Official translator
as well. Total 23 days in Malvern, Pennsylvania. First time in
heavy involvement in technical area for our team."
I rewrote this to read:
"Played key role in contracting and facilitating Ho Jung's technical
assistance to Millerton Steel; additionally served as official
translator."
This is far more concise and all that the hiring manager needs
to know. Given your "key" role, your 23-day stay in Malvern is
something you can bring up during an interview. Think of it as
a way to "break the ice" and to explain your importance to that
team.
In another bullet you wrote:
"Contracted the largest volume for STR's tinplate export history
of 50,000 MT/year ($30 million) with American customer."
I rewrote this to read:
"Contracted with an American client for 50,000 MT a year representing
$30 million in revenues, the largest volume in STR's tinplate export
history."
Because of space considerations, I could not include your Karate
Club membership or the other data you had listed under your educational
experience section. Given your impressive work history, the material
is actually unnecessary.
Also, because you received your degree from The College of William
and Mary, I did not include your time at Greenville Community College.
What's important is where you finally received your degree.
Every decision to modify and delete material was in keeping with
the guidelines of the Professional Association of Resume Writers
(PARW).
With this resume, you have a powerful tool that's not only packed
with easily digestible material, but is also aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Christina. Best of luck in all
your future endeavors.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer(CPRW)
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