Sample Student Resume for an Administrative Assistant - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Christopher,
After studying your skills and your stated goal of securing law school admission,
I chose a "Returning Student" format that would highlight both your
business experience and the skills that you gained during that employment.
I placed your contact information on the left margin. This way, it will be accessible
should a law school representative want to contact you for more information,
but it does not draw the eye away from the rest of the information on your resume.
I moved your education information to the bottom of your resume, since you have
solid professional experience.
I then wrote a profile that states your goal of law school admissions and showcases
the skills you have honed throughout your work experience, in particular performing
public policy and executing / mediating contractual agreements.
I then included a "Professional Experience" section, beginning each
bullet point with the strongest action verb possible, while also revising text
for clarity and conciseness.
For example, you wrote:
- Coordinating aspects of events and managing the facility during event activities.
This includes, but is not limited to, execution and/or mediation of contractual
obligations to artist or client, staff scheduling, budget preparation, dissemination
of event information, event settlement, and liaison between the Pavillion,
its scheduled artists, clients, vendors, production companies and departments.
I rewrote this information into two bullets, which read:
- Manage the facility during events; schedule staff, prepare budgets, and disseminate
advertising.
- Liaise with scheduled artists, clients, vendors, production companies, and
departments; execute and mediate contractual obligations; hire, train, and
manage an on-call staff of 300 employees.
In another example, you wrote:
- Seeking underwriting support via business proposal and personal contact.
- Presenting event plans to organizations, committees and businesses to solicit
support.
I condensed this information into one bullet, which reads:
- Secured underwriting support by presenting event plans to organizations and
businesses.
Because space was such an issue, I deleted the last position you had on your
original resume. As it was an internship, you did not exhibit any skills in this
position that you did not in your other four, and I decided that it was best
to emphasize your most impressive positions rather than to make your resume look
cramped.
I then presented your education information so that it is visually accessible
for admissions representatives.
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the guidelines
and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).
With this resume, you now have a powerful tool that showcases the skills that
you have developed in your last four positions. These are some of the same skills
that will make you very attractive to law school admissions committees. I also
made every attempt to make your resume more visually accessible and pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Christopher. Good luck in all of your future
endeavors.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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