Sample Student Resume for Business School Admission (MBA) - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Will ~
Given your intent to use this student resume for admission to
an MBA program, I chose a "Professional" format to best
display your skills and qualifications. This style employs the
Times New Roman font resulting in a document that's elegant and
well organized.
As one admissions director recently wrote:
"Your resume should portray your work and educational history
in the way you would present them to a prospective employer."
Keeping that in mind, I began your resume by placing your most
important contact information (phone number and email) flush left
and flush right, respectively.
In the body of the resume, I began with a Qualifications summary
that briefly summarizes and emphasizes all that you have to offer
an MBA Program.
In that short paragraph, I described you as analytical and results
oriented, ".with proven success in streamlining procedures,
improving inventory control, and increasing department efficiency
by implementing effective business plans."
Believe me, this is what hiring managers love to hear.
I then wrote,
"Currently seeking admission to an MBA program to hone skills
that also include research analysis." I ended this paragraph
by listing your technical proficiencies.
I next listed your Professional History. Although you're a recent
graduate, MBA admissions directors are most concerned with proven
job performance in their candidates. You have that with Nations
Waste Management, Inc.
In that and the Ralston listing, I began each bullet point with
the strongest action verb possible, while also revising text for
clarity, conciseness, and maximum impact.
For example, you wrote:
"Managed company procurement activities resulting in an improvement
in supplier relations and inventory control."
I revised that to read:
Improved supplier relations and inventory control by effectively
managing procurement activities.
You'll note that I first listed what you did ("Improved supplier
relations and inventory control.."), then how you did it (by
effectively managing."). Hiring managers and admissions directors
want to know what you did, then how you did it.
In another example, you wrote:
"Analyzed competitive practices and products being developed
by the public and private sector, resulting in concrete data on
how the Firm's products compared to any alternatives."
I revised that to read:
Compiled concrete data on how firm's products compared to competitors'
by analyzing practices and products being developed by others in
the public and private sectors.
Again, what you did ("compiled concrete data.") should
be listed first, then how you did it (".by analyzing practices
and products.")
I ended your resume with the education section. I listed your
Miles Garrison Scholarship here. If that's incorrect, please let
me know.
I did not include any of your extracurricular activities. In a
business resume (which admissions directors advise using), interests
and activities are rarely, if ever, included.
Your work at Nations Waste Management and Ralston speaks volumes
as to your capabilities, including leadership and teamwork. Too,
if I had included your activities, the resume would have run to
two pages. In the industry, only seasoned professionals with decades
of experience are advised to have more than a one-page resume.
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the
guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association
of Resume Writers (PARW).
With this resume, you now have a powerful tool that's well organized
and filled with pertinent data, while also being aesthetically
pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Will. Good luck in all your future
endeavors.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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ResumeEdge give
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