Sample Entry-Level Resume for Investment Banking - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Donna,
Given the fact that you are targeting business school and investment
banking, I chose an "executive" style format for your
resume. The executive-style format employs the Times New Roman
font and is organized for conciseness and clarity, while also retaining
an airy, uncluttered look. The resulting document is easy to read
and quite elegant in appearance.
I began your resume by increasing the size of your name for emphasis.
Next, I separated your contact information, with your address centered
and your phone number and email address at either margin. This
way, a hiring manager or admissions committee member can easily
locate this data. I assumed that the hotmail address you
used in your email to ResumeEdge is the most current address and
I used it rather than the umich address from your old resume.
In the body of your resume, I added a "Qualifications" section.
This brief paragraph uses information pulled from throughout your
original resume to highlight some of your most impressive skills,
including marketing, research, and management. In this section
I emphasized your Carnegie awards, language fluency, and technical
skills. This section gives hiring managers/admissions committees
a quick summary of your assets.
Next, I listed your Education. In the following section, I listed
your Professional Experience.
Throughout the Professional Experience section, I rewrote each
bullet item to emphasize your accomplishments and achievements.
I began each bullet point with the strongest action verb possible,
while also rewriting and condensing the text for maximum impact.
For example, you wrote:
"Analyzed the global franchising industry with emphases on
8 Asian countries, including Japan and China; determined factors
that contributed to Subway's respective development."
I rewrote this to read:
Charted Taco Tico's expansion into Asia by analyzing global franchising
industry in eight Asian countries, including Japan and China.
In another example, you wrote:
"Established and oversaw 13-member marketing department to
increase audience rate by 40% for this entirely student-run radio
station."
I rewrote this to read:
Increased audience of student-run radio station 40% by establishing
13-member marketing department.
I ended your resume with a short list of "Additional Accomplishments."
This includes your experience on the student resolution panel and
with the Girl Scouts. I recommend that you spell out "LS&A" for
hiring managers unfamiliar with that abbreviation.
Modern resumes typically omit references to extracurricular activities
and hobbies. But, since your business school application requests
them, I included them here. As you accumulate more professional
experience, such items will become unnecessary and should be deleted.
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the
guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association
of Resume Writers (PARW). With this resume, you now have a powerful
tool that's well organized and aesthetically pleasing. It was a
pleasure serving you, Donna.
Good luck in business school and your developing career.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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