Sample Resume for a Public Relations Career Change - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Ms. Lee,
In keeping with your stated purpose to use this resume to enter
the public relations field, I chose a modern format which has elegance
and flair.
Because the eye moves naturally from the left to the right, I
placed your contact information in the upper right corner, where
it will be seen immediately following your name. This asymmetrical
organization creates a dynamic visual tension which will make your
resume stand out, a necessity when your resume is competing with
hundreds of others.
The industry standard for someone with your level of experience
is one page, to which I adhered.
You very intelligently began your resume with a bulleted list
of your hard-won skills and qualifications. I merely condensed
the list into a brief summary presented in paragraph form, highlighting
your impressive marketing and sales competencies, as well as the
interpersonal and communication skills which contributed to your
success.
I decided against including your knowledge of the German language
in this summary because I was unsure what you meant by “working
knowledge.” If your German is good enough that you would
be able to develop and maintain a business relationship with a
German-speaking client (speaking on the phone, writing e-mails,
etc., all in German), then I would recommend including it. If not,
best leave it out lest you mislead a potential employer into thinking
that you are fluent.
You mentioned in your additional instructions to me that you were
concerned about your unusual career path. Given that there are
no real gaps in your history--only the fact that you advanced relatively
far in the work world before returning to school to earn your BS
and MBA--I decided that a straightforward, reverse-chronological
format was the best approach.
Accordingly, I began with your most recent accomplishment (your
MBA), and worked backwards from there. Although your career accomplishments
are impressive, placing them first might create confusion. Organizing
the resume in this reverse-chronological format will forestall
any questions that a hiring manager might have; every year is clearly
accounted for.
You will note that I omitted your Associate's degree. Your much
more recent educational credits are more impressive and far more
important from the perspective of a hiring manager. Including a
degree in a relatively unrelated field which was earned more than
25 years ago would only distract attention from your more pertinent,
timely, and impressive accomplishments.
Next, I presented your professional experience. In presenting
this information I reworded your bullet points for maximum impact.
For example, in one of your bullet points you wrote:
“Consistently exceeded sales quotas, in addition to collaborating
with team colleagues to win multiple regional sales competitions.”
I rewrote this point to read:
“Exceeded sales quotas consistently; collaborated with colleagues
to win multiple regional sales competitions.”
Notice how beginning the sentence with the strong verb “exceeded” as
opposed to the adverb “consistently” enhances the vigor
and impact of your claim. Also, using a semi-colon permits the
omission of the filler transition
“in addition to.” These subtle changes add force and
energy to your resume, giving your resume a psychological edge
when competing for the attention of a hiring manager.
In another of your bullet points, you wrote:
“Consulted with corporate and leisure travel customers to
determine destinations, modes of transportation, travel dates,
financial considerations, accommodations, and corporate meeting
planning.”
I rewrote this point to read:
“Consulted with clients to determine and meet their needs
concerning destinations, modes of transportation, travel dates,
financial constraints, accommodations, and activity itineraries.”
By emphasizing that your consulting work depended upon your willingness
and ability to meet your clients' needs, you connect this experience
to your claim (in the qualifications summary) that you can coordinate
clients' needs with sales objectives, thus integrating it into
the overall argument which your resume sets forth, namely, that you are
the most qualified person for this job.
There is an avenue where your resume could still be improved.
First, you mention that some of your travel consulting clients
were Fortune 500 organizations. If any of these organizations are
at all well-known, name them. Identifying important ex-clients
whose names are likely to be recognized will add an extra gleam
of prestige to your resume.
Each decision to highlight and condense data was in keeping with
industry guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional
Association of Resume Writers (PARW).
With your superior skills and this resume, I feel you have an
excellent chance at reaching your stated goals. The best of luck.
ResumeEdge.com Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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