Sample Entry-Level Resume for Business - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Pamela,
As you requested in your order, I revised your resume according
to Design Six. Though entry-level resumes are usually formatted
with the Education section placed first, I compliment you on choosing
this design, as it is best suited for someone like yourself who
has a professional background.
In the body of the resume, I began with the Profile section. I
revised this section to emphasize your academic accomplishments
that are business related. Computer skills are highly regarded,
so I was careful to carry that over in your profile.
In the following Experience section, I began each bullet point
with the strongest action verb possible, while also rewriting the
text for maximum impact. Since the dollar value in the only statement
that included a dollar value was in US currency, I removed "USD" from
it, replacing it with the US dollar symbol according to the Gregg
Reference Manual.
You'll notice that the resultant job description statement is
strong and concise, while not leaving out the most vital information
from your original resume.
For example, you wrote:
- Foreign currency trader, directly handled over USD 50K per
month in trades and investment.
- Investigated currency trends, issued reports on international
markets, and specialized in transactions involving Euros, Dollars,
and Yen.
I rewrote this to read:
- Handled $50,000+ monthly in trades and investment, specializing
in Euros, Dollars, and Yen transactions; investigated trends
and issued market reports.
You'll also note that I pulled out accomplishments for each job
heading. In this manner, a hiring manager can readily and easily
see what you did while an intern and entrepreneur.
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the
guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association
of Resume Writers (PARW). With this resume, you now have a powerful
personal marketing tool that's well-organized and aesthetically
pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Pamela. I wish you all the best.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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ResumeEdge give
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