Sample Cover Letter for Financial Sales - Critique
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About this Sample Cover Letter Critique
In this sample cover letter critique, the certified professional resume writer
at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" cover letter, from the
original cover letter or raw data that the client submitted.
Sample Cover Letter Critique
Dear Dennis ~
In order to present your skills in a traditional manner for a
traditional business (finance and accounting), I chose an elegant
format for your cover letter. It's simple and understated, yet
filled with pertinent information regarding your unique set of
capabilities.
Because the first sentence of a cover letter is critical in securing
a hiring manager's attention, I wrote of your experience as a Field
Associate for Premiere Financial Group in Irvine. I realize that
you began your cover letter by mentioning your Master's degree,
however, your advanced degree could be a drawback in a trainee
position. I noted that the job only required a BA / BS. Therefore,
I thought it best to begin with your real world experience.
In the next, bulleted section, I began by writing of your Master
of Arts in Economics, then detailed what you could offer the targeted
firm. This includes your proficiency in forecast planning and modeling,
superior mathematical capabilities and economic intuition, excellent
time management and multi-tasking skills, your pursuit of NASD
and Health / Life insurance licensing, and finally your fluency
in English, Spanish, and French.
I did not include the personal data about your coming to America
without friends or family. That information is best brought out
during the interview process as a way to "break the ice." A cover
letter should contain data relevant to your job search, and the
bulleted list of capabilities certainly shows your enterprising
attitude and your desire to succeed.
I indicated that your resume would be included with your cover
letter and then wrote, "In an effort to discuss this matter further,
I will be calling your office within the next few days to see if
we might set up a time to meet." In the business world it's not
only accepted, but also expected that a prospective employee make
that first call, rather than waiting for contact from the hiring
manager. This shows your professionalism and your interest in the
job.
I ended your cover letter by thanking the company representative.
At this point, the eye is drawn to your contact information at
the bottom of the letter - phone number, physical address, and
email.
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the
guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association
of Resume Writers (PARW). With this cover letter, you now have
a powerful tool that's well organized and filled with pertinent
data, while also being aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Dennis. Best of luck in all your
future endeavors.
ResumeEdge Writer
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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